Hello yes, it's a journal. I feel like writing, but no inspiring thoughts have struck me yet, so why not writing a journal/rant while waiting for inspiration to come and the caffeine to kick in?
My life is not very interesting. Thinking about this past year, only bitter memories from my 4th semester at Uni come to my head. By the way, I'm on my way to my 5th semester. All courses clear, good grades, thanks to my unrational fear of losing. But somehow, I'm feeling disenchanted with the career I chose. Yes, it's literature, I still think I made the right choice. But most of the courses in the syllabus are...boring. Not a single course of creative writing, and the one class I was truly looking forward was a failure (Theory of Poetry & Essays). I shouldn't be complaining; I'm lucky to have university education. What I'm complaining about is the quality of the education being given. Art History and Renaissance literature have been by far the only courses in which I learned something of value, whereas the rest of the courses...let's say Wikipedia taught me better. Hopefully the next courses will be better. If not, I'm already searching for scholarships.
I've disappointed myself as well. When I was fifteen, there wasn't a day I didn't write something, no matter how cheesy it was. Fingers smudged with ink and a torn notebook were part of my daily basis. Now, being 20 years old, I've fallen into what I dreaded years ago: Monotony.
I've become quite a comformist; there are few things that amuse me nowadays. The energy I used to have to write dune length paragraphs out of a simple object or situation is ebbing away. I still carry a notebook and pen wherever I go...but each time I try to write something, thoughts like "It's worthless", "You don't know how to write", "Somebody will read this and will realize what a petty you are" clutter my mind. Yes, I'm my worst enemy, with a terrible insecure personality. I'm not sure if being aware of this means that there's still some chance to get away from that black-hole called "routine". Maybe it's just a block and I'm overreacting (which wouldn't be a surprise)
On another completely off target topic....I finished watching "Samurai Champloo" a few days ago. The first time I watched it was seven years ago. I only saw a few episodes, but the design was ingrained in my head. Sadly, the network removed it and I forgot about it. I still remember those nights, though. I would to the living room as quietly as possible, and stay up late watching different anime series, Champloo among them. Well, a few days ago I remembered I never watched the whole series, thus the marathon began! I love it , i love it , i love it! The anachronisms, the fights, the swords, everything,especially Mugen! And the music! I'm still high on the last episode. And as any fan...I would like to know what happened after the end! But maybe it's better that way...so I can come up with my own ideas of what happened
I really love his character...and the fact that Steve Blum is his voice actor in the english dub just adds more charm!
Well...that's my rant. Hopefully having written all of this has cleared my head.